Forbidden
by KristaffJeepers
Summary: Jacob and Bella, Bella has naughty thoughts of Jacob? where will it go?
1. Chapter 1

Jacob pressed against me as we laid in the bed I wanted him. But I knew Edward would be furious. Edward trusted me to be here, alone. With Jacob. And I was having thoughts. He pressed harder against me and ran his fingers over my legs

"What are you thinking so hard about Bella?" He mumbled

_Ooh just the thought of you ravaging me. _I thought to myself

"Bells?"

"Nothing much Jake… you?"

"Well… I'm not thinking anything much…" he mumbled he was lying. I could tell he was thinking the exact thing I was thinking. I knew it.

JAKES POV

I pushed harder against her ass hoping that the boner would just go away if I got closer to her like this. I didn't know how I would explain why there was something hard pressing against her ass. But I could think of something sly. Her expression kept changing, she bit lightly down on her lip it made me harder the way her tongue traced over her perfect pink lips, it made me wanna feel her lips on my cock. I was probley bugger than her pathetic little vampire. I knew I was. Vampires had everything, looks, a nice body, money, all of it. So they wouldn't have size on their side. Her expression turned into a dirty little smirk.

"What are you thinking so hard about Bella?"

_Hopefully me fucking you senseless In this bed. Right now. _

She stared off and chewed on her lip. I licked my lips lightly, I was throbbing against her. I would eventually explain why I was hard. If she noticed… which considering how hard I was and the amount of throbbing she would be asking soon.

"Bells?" I tried to hide the emotion in my voice. I knew she could read me so easily. I was like a book to her.

"Nothing Much Jake… you?"

_Well actually I've thought of many things. Pushing you against that wall ripping your clothes to shreds kissing you all over that succulent skin of yours and moving lower, lower and lower until I reach what I know you would want me to touch the most then licking you until your begging me to just fuck you. And as soon as you were begging I would start fucking you moving however you want it all the while you would be screaming out "Ooh Jacob" then your filthy bloodsucker would walk in and see us fucking on my wall and he would just leave, heartbroken. And you would be mine. I could treat you better anyways._

"Well… I'm not thinking anything much…" I mumbled in the middle of my little fantasy

"No really… what are you thinking?" She asked. She knew I knew she would. I pressed against her harder. It was starting to throb so hard it hurt.

"Ooh… I think I know what you were thinking now…" She muttered with her dirty little smirk she pressed against it and moved her ass on it. I couldn't help it I had to moan a little. She was a sad little case of blue balls on the way. I thought to myself.

BPOV

His moan sent shivers down my spine. I didn't even care if this was wrong now, Edward would get over it. I pushed harder against him, he was throbbing by now, that was apparent. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me on top of him. His lips crashed onto mine, he possessed all my senses, sight, smell, and taste, all of them.

All I wanted with him. I knew I could have him right now too.

But could I betray Edward?

A/N:

Good question huh??

Review. Tell me what I should do with this story I kinda want it to go on further than just one chapter, so review and please give me some ideas! I would appreciate it!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N

Heres more. I'm looking for someone to help me out in writing this out. So if you have any ideas send me a message or review. I don't want 'advice' I want someone o WRITE it. And help me edit and stuff. Let me know if you think you could be that person‼

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BPOV

His moan sent shivers down my spine. I didn't even care if this was wrong now, Edward would get over it. I pushed harder against him, he was throbbing by now, that was apparent. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me on top of him. His lips crashed onto mine, he possessed all my senses, sight, smell, and taste, all of them.

All I wanted with him. I knew I could have him right now too.

But could I betray Edward?

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Everything was spinning in my head. I couldn't think I couldn't breathe. I wanted this. didn't I?

I wanted Jacob. I needed it. And if Edward wasn't willing to give it to me. I would have it from Jacob. That's only fair now isn't it?

"Bella what are you thinking its killing me…"

"nothing. Just kiss me" I said as I leaned into his lips he pulled me closer to him. And I wanted to be closer. Always more. more, more, more! I needed him. His hot breath was making me crazy I stripped him of his t-shirt and he ripped my shirt down the center. I didn't even care if Edward knew anymore. As I laid on top of him betraying my only love, I couldn't help but wonder, if I was meant to do this. Jacobs hands wandered all over my stomach and pushed my bra up rubbing my nipples until I was lost in the lust for more. I was getting wetter and wetter thinking about him inside me.

"Ooh god Jacob. I need you" I moaned the words

JPOV

"Ooh god Jacob, I need you" her words made me tremble inside I needed to be in her. She didn't know that she was contagious. I don't know if she had realized if yet but she was practically dry fucking me rubbing her lower half all over my hard throbbing. It felt good. I didn't wanna give in. but it was tempting. I pulled her to my lips kissing her, her mouth was open for me she tasted so amazing. I wondered idly what she would be like if I tasted her exactly where she wanted me to. I pushed her off of me and got onto her. I wasn't careful anymore. I didn't bother. As I slipped her pants to her ankles a sudden snarl ripped out of my chest violently. She groaned, un aware of the animal, I leaned down and slipped her panties down to her ankles too and then slipped the pants and them off, throwing them into a distant corner. I moved up, saving the look at her for last. She moaned against my lips as I kissed her letting my hands wander all over her perfect breasts

"Please Jacob" she begged me. The sound of her begging made my cock jerk at the sound. I needed it. Just as bad as she did. But I couldn't give into her so easily. So I slid back. We could compromise. I leaned down taking Bella in for the first time. She was a perfect shade of pink. It made me yearn to touch her; I leaned in pressing my lips to her thigh and finally slipping my tongue through her core for the first time

BPOV

His tongue caressed me in ways I had never felt before. I couldn't think, the pleasure was wrapping around my entire body and locking me in the ecstasy, I was completely lost in Jacob Black, his fingers moved up sliding inside of me and slowly pumping in and out as he licked around my clit. I was close

"Ooh god in gonna come" I groaned the words I wanted to so bad, it was building, filling up, filling and filling until finally I popped, waves of pure ecstasy rolled over and over me threatening to drown me but only intensifying the feeling.

"Ooh god Jacob!" I was screaming his name over and over. As soon as it stopped he came up my body and kissed me on the lips. I could taste me on his hot lips. I pushed on his chest and he did what I told him to. He sat back and I moved in untying his sweatpants. I could see him straining against his pants and I rubbed him a bit through his pants while I pulled them down. As soon as they were down I leaned down. I wasn't quite sure how to do what I wanted to, but I was gonna try. I leaned down taking Jacobs huge cock in my mouth and sucking while I bobbed up and down on him. He let out a low groan as I sucked him. He buried his long slender fingers in my hair guiding my movements his stomach was starting to twitch. This was gonna be short lived. I smiled on the inside. I must be good at this. I sucked harder and then liquid was filling my mouth. He was sweet, as he came into my mouth I eagerly swallowed and groaned, it was turning me on to have him in my mouth. As soon as he was done I laid back. He kissed me on the cheek and whispered something in a different language to me.

A.N: Okay that's it. I'm not sure if you guys are gonna like it. But I hope you do! Again, I'm looking for someone to help me in writing my next chapters if I decide to continue this. help me. message or review to let me know if you are interested in helping me write this! 

-Love yer favorite author (lol) Kristaff! 3


	3. Chapter 3

*Forbidden*

Its not the first

Time…

And this wont

Be the last…

---

Chapter Three: No…

AN: I am still looking for someone to help me out with this I had a few takers, but then they backed out. So lemme know. only serious inquiries please. I do need help though. I mean. that is if you want to see it updated sooner  I am like on an anti writing spree but I will try just fer you guys. Lol

BPOV

I Jacob was asleep on the bed. I had just realized what I had done. I thought about it over and over. And now I felt a little guilty. I gathered what was salvageable of my clothing and walked to the door way. Stealing one last look at Jacob black. His long black hair made me irk inside. I felt guily in a sense. But if the chance presented itself again. I would do it again. I looked and the floor and walked out of the house. I walked to my truck getting in it. And starting. I hoped it didn't wake Jacob. I didn't want him to think that I was being shallow by just leaving afterwards. I sighed and started towards Forks. I knew Edward would be home. I was supposed to be to his house about an hour ago. He would probley be mad enough without telling him what happened. I ran through my speech over and over in my head. It was perfect. I knew he would believe me. I know he will ask me why I smell like the dog, and I will answer playfully because I was with him. He will ask me why my shirt is ripped. I will blush and tell him I fell down and ripped my shirt down the middle. He might ask me why I smell like other things. I will tell him me and Jake swam. It will work. I nodded to myself as I pulled into their driveway.

Edward was sitting on the porch with Alice. They were staring. They looked scary.

I sat in the car for a second and in the next Edward was opening the door, he took my hair and sniffed it lightly. And the rest of me. it was a little awkward

"what did you do with the dog?"

"We…." I forgot already….

"Bella?" he looked at me, his eyes were black it wasn't thirst it was anger. I knew this look well.

"We swam"

"Lie." He said quietly.

"…" I couldn't form a sentence.

"What did you do with him. I am serious. Answer me…."

"He already know Bella. just admit it." Alice said suddenly next to me

"This is not a Q&A!" I said frustrated

"Why Bella… couldn't you wait?!" Edward said vunerablely

I jerked awake. I was next to Jacob. He smiled at me.

"Hello"

"I was dreaming?"

"Well I spose' so… you said Edwards name though. which kinda sickened me…" Jacob said with a fake gag. I collapsed backward onto the pillow

"Last night was…. Good…" Jacob said quietly

"I know…" I said. I sounded grumpy

"What's wrong?"

"what am I supposed to tell Edward?"

"Don't tell him."

"I have to tell him. He will know?"

"How. He cant read your mind. So there is no way Bella"

I sighed. Maybe it was the guilty conscious that made me feel like I would get caught.

"Can we walk or something?" Jake said

"Yeah…" I leaned up and grabbed what was left of my clothing he handed me a t-shirt and I put it on we walked to the beach it was freezing. Bu the heat off of Jakes body was enough to keep me warm.

A/N okay I am sorry that is a terrible chapter. I need help. Badly. Lol. Lemme know. email me. something. If you are serious Message me or something. But I cant continue till I have someone to help me.

Thanks 


	4. Chapter 4

*Forbidden*

The only thing that works for me…

I wanna fuck you like an animal…

I wanna feel you from the inside….

-Chapter 4: First Beach-

BPOV

Just like in my dream, the repercussions and guilt from last night's escapades finally hit me as Jacob and I walked along First Beach.

Even though I was freezing, I couldn't bring myself to hold his hand. The warmth emanating from his large form was enough to keep me comfortable as we walked side by side. I refused to touch him at all because I knew that any feeling of his skin on mine would send my head spinning. I really needed to think clearly right now.

So many questions filled my already crowded head: Would I tell Edward? Would he already know? Was I in love with Jake? Why the HELL didn't I think of all the questions before all of this happened?

My expression must have been changing a mile a minute because Jacob suddenly moved his hand up to my face and stroked my cheek as if to ask "what are you thinking?"

I stopped dead in my tracks but still kept my head down. I knew he wanted to talk but I was trying to hash out my own demons right now and I needed to get that straight before I even considered talking to Jacob.

He stopped my reverie as he moved his long slender fingers to my chin, lifting it so I looked into his dark eyes. There were so many emotions there: sadness, worry, euphoria, lust, and love. All he probably saw reflected back at him was dread.

Despite that, I began to melt under his fierce gaze as his face came closer to mine. My head swam at the thought of his lips on mine again. I knew if I let him get any farther I would end up ripping off his clothes and making love to him in the sand.

Realizing the control my teenage hormones had over me even before anything really happened, my eyes snapped open after being shut from his anticipated kiss. I quickly took a step away from him only to trip over a rock that was directly behind my feet. Before I could hit the sand, Jacob caught my waist with one hand and placed the other behind my neck and head.

I was even closer to him than before and I could see a smirk start to play at the corners of his mouth. He was obviously trying very hard not to laugh at my apparent clumsiness and botched attempt at trying to get away from him.

He began to frown when I successfully pulled myself from his hold and took a step back, making very sure that there were no rocks underfoot.

I started talking in order to distract him into keeping his distance from me.

"Look, Jake, I really don't know what to say. I mean, last night was wonderful but we both weren't thinking straight. I know you keep persisting that Edward won't find out but he could always read your mind. Even though you think I'm crazy, I really do love him and I can't bear the thought of hurting him. He may not spark the animal in me like you do and I mean you really do turn me on. I wish we could just be together and we could go farther…"

I was so focused on my rant that I hadn't noticed him slowly inching closer to me and he suddenly cut me off my grazing my lips with his. He didn't attack me with a kiss but he certainly surprised me as my breath caught and my eyes widened.

This was the turning point, I could feel it. I could give in completely and surrender to my inhibitions by returning his kiss with fiery passion or I could try to run as far away from him as possible so I can think and speak clearly.

The former won as I leaned closer to him and started to kiss him so heatedly that any normal human would fall over from the force. He didn't hesitate at all as he wrapped his arms around my back and lifted me closer to him while I wrapped my legs around his waist.

He never stopped kissing me as he dropped to his knees and placed me below him on the sand. He easily removed my shirt, since it had been destroyed the night before, as he rained kisses along my jaw down to my collar bone. I lay there, with my legs still holding a vice grip on his torso while I threw my head back, marveling in the sensations he was giving me. Although I was not completely in control of my thought process, I was aware enough to know where this was leading.

I brought his face back up to mine and I could see in his eyes that if we did end up having sex that it preferably be in a bed, and not on the sands of First Beach.

Between pants, Jacob finally spoke, "I have to go patrol soon. Maybe you should go home and take a shower. I'll meet you at your house tonight for dinner. Will we have the house to ourselves?"

"Charlie won't be home until about noon tomorrow," I knew that's what he meant but I added the second piece of information because I knew that what he _really_ meant, "and ummmm… _he_ won't be back from hunting until after that." I wouldn't dare saying Edward's name in front of Jacob for fear of reminding him that I was not completely his and that I still had a boyfriend, no matter how far Jacob and I went in our little affair.

Even though I knew he had to, I was saddened when Jacob got up and extended his arm to allow me to get up. I brushed off and put my shirt back on. We headed towards his house. He ran inside and got my things while I waited outside my truck. As he approached me, I got in the car, hoping the door would keep me from jumping him. He handed me my purse and keys through the window. There was an awkward silence because I didn't know whether I should kiss him goodbye or just speed off like the little adulterer I was.

I decided on the latter as I started my truck and rode off without a second glance. I immediately became cold and depressed while being void of Jacob's presence. Once I got home, I ran upstairs and took a cold shower in order to restart and purge myself from my very thought-muddling teenage hormones.

While I was drying my hair and putting on my clothes, I thought I heard someone enter my room ever so quietly. A wide grin spread across my face at the thought of Jacob being so anxious that he was waiting in my bed for me already.

As I entered my room I said, "God, Jacob, couldn't you wait a couple more hours until you saw me? And I thought I was h…" but it wasn't Jacob waiting for me on my bed, it was Edward.

I thanked God that he couldn't read my mind as I loudly thought "SHIT!"

A/N: Okay so I found someone to help me write this. So I don't need help. She wrote this entire chapter. Lemme know what you think ;P shes amazing isnt she ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Forbidden**

I don't wanna live

To waist another day

Underneath the shadow of mistakes I've

Made. 

And I feel like I'm breaking inside…

Chapter 5: Empty side.

JPOV

Why did I have to open my big fat mouth and stop our AMAZING make out session.

STUPID STUPID STUPID!

'_God man, listening to you pining over Bella and seeing the instant replay of your sex-capades last night is one thing but you mentally bashing your head against a rock isn't helping either'_ Jared said as we ran the parameter.

'_Up yours!'_ I mentally screamed at Jared.

'_Wow, you must be really sexually repressed, you're making passes at Jared now'_ Paul snickered as he ran beside.

'_God damn pack mind'_ I mumbled.

'_Oh, grow up you big baby, we have to endure every stupid thing you think too, you should be used to it by now'_ snapped Jared.

'_Eeh.'_ I thought about her skin on mine. touching me In places I thought I was only gonna imagine. Then it was reality.

I smiled to myself

'_your saying this in front of a youngen….' Paul said sarcastically_

'_eeh. You werent there when he was thinking worse'_

'_HEY!' Seth said._

'_hey what?'_

'_you said you would keep it a secret'_

'_nothing is a secret Seth'_

He sighed in his mind and phased out. I embarrassed him

'_good Job Jake you upset the youngen'_

'_I'm sure he hates it when you call him that'_

'_Eeh. He will learn to love it'_

I finally reach Bella's house and I couldn't wait to phase back to get these assholes out of my head.

'_Now now, don't be hating'_ said Paul in a light hearted manner as I headed towards the edge of the woods right next to Bella's. I started to get really excited as I got closer to her house. I started thinking of what we had done yesterday and what might happen tonight while I heard my pack mates start to snicker and Paul exclaimed '_ewwwwww…come on, keep it in your pants or at least out of your mind!'_

'_ha ha, give me a break, I can't help it. Just thinking of her luscious pink lips and the way she…'_ but I didn't get to finish as I heard a groan from every wolf and I could practically hear all of their eyes roll. I should have kept going just to annoy paul. But I wasn't really in a mean kind of mood. I laughed and shook my head at their distaste for my raging teenage hormones. I was cut short, however, as I picked up a sickly sweet smell emanating from the Bella's house.

'_FUCK'_ I cursed as I instantly realized that it was the leech I smelled.

He had no doubt heard everything I had just thought and this was confirmed when I heard him say "Your mutt is here" with obvious malice in his voice.

I quickly phased before any of the other guys could get concerned. I pulled on my shorts and was wondering if I should just walk in or wait for Edward to come out. When this ended up in a fight, I didn't want to hurt Bella or destroy her house. So, I stood outside her house with my arms by my sides, clenching my fists and preparing myself for a fight. I was expecting him to rush out at vampire speed and confronting me head on. To my surprise, I heard two pairs of human pace footsteps coming down the stairs.

When the front door opened I saw the leech exit first and all the muscles in my body tensed in battle. His face was completely cold and unreadable as he said "I will not fight you, Jacob."

Before I could react or even reply, Bella came stumbling out after him in her usual uncoordinated fashion. My heart wrenched as I saw her tear streaked face and I listened to her plead with the bloodsucker.

"Please, please Edward! Come back! I love you! L-let me explain" she began to stutter as the tears flowed freely from her beautiful brown eyes. My fingers were twitching with the desire to caress her cheek and wipe away those bitter tears that my love for her had caused.

Edward headed towards his car as he commented on my inner monologue, "I'd actually call it lust but I just may be too 'old fashioned' in my thinking," he said the last part with the emotion of anger seeping out of it. I could see his hard shell of composure begin to fall and I looked to Bella, yearning to hold her and assure her that I really did love her and that the lust was just was a byproduct. However, he cut off my intentions as he said, "hurting you would hurt Bella, which I have no intention of doing but touching her right now wouldn't do well for my nerves. I'm not as composed as you might think."

As much as I was not afraid of him, I stayed where I was as he and Bella walked past me. I turned to watch this scene unfold but I did not move more than that. She still pursued him and continued to beg after our short conversation.

None of her pleas worked until he reached for the door of his car. Her voice was even shakier and less collected than before when she said, "please, Edward, you've already left me once and you promised never to break me like that again."

This caused him to pause for the first time in his mission to get to his car as his hand lingered on the door handle. He audibly sighed, shut his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned to face Bella, who had finally caught up to him. He opened his eyes and removed his hand from his face to gently place it on her cheek. I couldn't help the growl that erupted from my chest as he wiped away one of her tears. He was taking away my move while also reminding me that she was essentially only his to touch.

His eyes briefly moved to me without looking in my eyes as he said, "you are absolutely right about that." It made me beyond angry but he had a point.

Bella was so distraught that she seemed to not notice what went on between us. She quietly said, "Edward, please don't go. I'll fall apart if you leave me again."

Edward brought his attention back to her, "I'll only be gone for good if that's what you choose. You have a lot to sort out. I need to leave alone right now. I love you." With that he quickly dropped his hand from her cheek, got in the car, and drove off before she could blink.

The minute he was out of sight, I caught Bella before she hit the pavement of her driveway as her knees buckled beneath her. When she realized that I was holding her, she began to squirm and hit me weakly with her fists. I could tell she was furious with me, most likely blaming me for what just happened but I refused to let her go. I was her best friend first and she really needed a shoulder to cry on. I could tell that she either came to this conclusion also or she was just too emotionally and physically drained as she became limp in my arms.

I was worried that she had become unconscious but I could hear her begin to cry again and I could feel her cool tears fall onto my shoulder. I picked her up from behind her knees while she buried her head into my neck and wrapped her arms around me. I walked through the front door that was still open and I brought her upstairs to her room. Fearing for her mental and physical condition, I stayed with her even though the minute she laid her head on that pillow she turned to face away from me. I knew with certainty that she was not ready to talk to me right now but I owed it to her to stay and make sure she was ok.

I sat down next to her, put my hands behind my head, and wondered what had happened before I had shown up.

I felt bad. But I couldn't bring myself to feel too guilty about what had happened between us. Even if it meant nothing to her. It meant something to me. I loved her. I didn't have just a lust for her. I wished she loved me enough to be with me instead of her blood sucker but… apparently she loved him.

I could hear her soft cries and soon she turned to she side and rolled onto my chest crying, I could feel cool tears spilling all over me as she cried out the now empty side of her. It tore me into shreds to see her cry like this. I hated Edward for doing this to her. He should have stayed so she didn't suffer like this. In a way I felt horrible. Because I had caused this. But in a way I felt inner peace. That is what I wanted. I wanted to be like that with Bella many times. But at this rate it would not go that way for me.


	6. Chapter 6

BPOV (earlier that day)

_I thanked God that he couldn't read my mind as I loudly thought "SHIT!"_

I tried my hardest to keep my breathing and heart rate steady but I soon found that there was no way to control that in the least.

The minute Edward looked at me; he gave me that enchanting crooked smile that would usually make me weak in the knees. This time it just made me feel even more guilty thinking that he grinned because he loved and trusted me. My heart ached at the reminder that I had betrayed that and only a moment before all I could think of was Jacob.

Of course, Edward sensed my panic and said, "Don't worry, love. We finished hunting early and I could not spend another moment away from you." Seeing that this did not placate my terrified demeanor, his brow furrowed and he got up off the bed to stand in front of me. "Are you alright sweet heart?"

"Ummmm…" Stop stuttering you fool! He must know something is up. I was never, ever good at lying and especially not under a lot of pressure. I finally spit out "I was just a little shocked and uh…surprised, that's all. You took me by surprise is all." I sound like such an idiot! Let's hope all my blubbering made him forget the fact that I thought he was Jacob.

His frown deepened as he said, "You were expecting Jacob." Damn, I swear sometimes I thought he could actually read my mind.

"No, no. I uh… just thought you were him. I mean we were gonna hang out after his patrol but I just thought that maybe he came early. Well, this would be really early, wouldn't it? I mean…" but he stopped my mini rant as her put his cold finger to my lips.

"Shh dear Bella. He is your best friend and you too spend time together while I'm gone. That's good, I don't like the thought of you being alone while I'm not here." A smile returned to his lips as he said, "you are so irresistible when you blush like that. God, I missed you so much."

He came closer to me and I found myself lost in his golden eyes. I forgot all about Jacob and my recent infidelity as he came closer and I could smell his intoxicating scent. I was floating on cloud nine as I closed my eyes and awaited his sweet kiss.

He pressed his cold lips to mine and I had to hold back the reflex to jump away from him. After experiencing Jacobs raw heat last night, I had to seriously adjust to the change in temperature. Thinking of Jacob broke the spell I was under as Edward continued to kiss me. I did not pull away but I wasn't responding like I usually did. I was so wracked with guilt that I couldn't grab him or push him further. He must not have noticed my timid movements as he put his hand in his hair and even went as far as resting his other hand on my hip to pull me flush against him.

His lustful behavior made me pull back for the first time ever. I began to breathe again when he said, "sorry, I just _really_ missed you. I'm sorry if I pushed to far but I have been waiting to do that all weekend."

He grinned widely and I had to be an idiot by saying, "you weren't even gone the whole weekend." I meant for this comment to come out light and flirtatious but it came out harsh. I immediately regretted it as his grin was wiped right off of his face.

"I'm sorry; you always used to love it when I surprised you like this. I didn't think the need to call…" I knew it was bad when I made him doubt himself like this. I am such a terrible girlfriend. I had to make this right and quick.

"No Edward. I'm just surprised, very very surprised. You know me and my stupid human nerves. It's nothing, nothing. I am very happy to see you." I could tell he was skeptical still, though.

"Ok, well then, why don't we head to the meadow? Today is rare, it is gorgeous outside."

I nodded my head and followed him down the stairs with my hand in his.

When we got back, I could tell that my odd and nervous behavior had finally gotten to Edward. I had leftovers in the fridge so I didn't have the distraction of cooking which could have been very helpful right about now. Instead, I complained of being tired, hoping that would be enough for him to leave but I forgot that he loved to watch me sleep. So, we made our way up stairs and I lied down. I could tell something was wrong because he didn't lie next to me and wrap his arms around me like he usually did. He just sat on the edge of my bed facing away from me. I knew he was thinking, I was just afraid to know what.

I tried to fain sleeping but I should have known better than to think that he would buy that. He cut the silence by saying, "so, what did you and Jacob do yesterday?"

Son of a- "ummmm…nothing much. I watched him while he worked on his car and we walked along first beach. You know, the usual." Ok, I really hope he bought that. I mean it wasn't a total lie.

"How'd you rip your shirt?"

What the-? "huh?" I asked inarticulately. How in the hell did he know I had ripped my shirt yesterday?

He pointed to my shirt on the ground. "I noticed it was ripped. You didn't get hurt, did you?" I could tell that his suspicions of me were being suppressed by his concern for my safety. That instinct would be my saving grace.

"Oh no, I just tripped and I tore it right down the middle." I dodged that bullet.

"Were you running or something? Your clothes smelled as if you had been some intense physical activity." As horrified as I was that he had noticed all that from my clothes, I had to stifle as laugh as I thought of how true that was.

I dismissed his comment by just saying "yeah yeah" and then closing my eyes, hoping he'd get the hint. I had no such luck.

"Why were you running?" I tried not to groan too loudly as I opened my eyes and sat up.

"As much as I'd love to play twenty questions, I am really tired and I'd like to take a nap" I said in a angry way I didn't even know I could portray. I was so guilty that I was taking it out on him.

"I'm so sorry. I'm just curious. We spend so much time together that I wonder what you do when I'm not around. I'll stop bothering you." This is where I should have kept my nig mouth shut but the guilt was turning me into a very irrational person.

"What's wrong Edward? Don't you trust me? You can't always know what I do every second of every day!"

I could tell he was taken aback by my outburst as he turned to look at me. "Well, is there a reason I shouldn't trust you?" I wanted to scream 'YES! I've been a terrible person!'

Instead, I said, "of course not!" That would have been fine had I not said it so fast or in such a high tone of voice.

His eyes narrowed as he stood up and looked down at me. "Is there something going on between you and Jacob?" he asked in a harsh tone. I could tell he was trying to dominate me with his stance and tone but I was not willing to give up just yet. With all the courage I could muster, I got up off the bed and stood in front of him.

"No! I love YOU! Why would you ever think that? I am insulted!" With every word I said, my voice got higher as did my anxiety and guilt. Why was I defending myself so ardently with all of these lies? Was it self preservation? Was I in denial?

"What did you do with him? Do you love him? Or have your teenage hormones finally gotten in the way of our love?" I didn't know how to respond to any of it. He never blew up like this. I was backed into a figurative corner but my mind would not let me stop fighting.

"I love you and I would never let anything get in the way of that. Of course I have sexual needs but your old fashioned values keep me from getting what I want. I can deal with that so don't accuse me of such things!" I could feel my every word sting both of us like a knife. I was attacking him while hammering another nail into my guilty coffin. Since I was in so deep, I didn't stop there. "How are you so sure I would be so heartless? You have no substantial evidence!"

He growled loudly and I stepped back. My knees hit the bed and I fell on top of the bed in shock. I thought my excuses and his unrelenting trust in me would be enough to refute the clues from my clothes and attitude. What else could there be that would make him jump to these conclusions?

I found myself unable to breathe when his gaze pierced through me and he says, "I have plenty of evidence: your mutt is here."


	7. Chapter 7

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	8. Chapter 8

Forbidden

Theres A Train

Leaving Town

If ou hurry up

i think you just might make it

dammit i hope you make it

chapter 8: Nothing

BPOV (while with Jacob)

i coudlnt belive it. i couldnt belive that Edward would just leave. walk off. i thought that he would understand why i did what i did he had told me several times that he would understand. but now he doesnt understand at all. i guess its just the reality that it actually happened. and now its not just a thought.

the sobs wracked through my body like a hurricane threatening to rip in right in half as i cried in Jakes arms. i was mad at him in a way. but it wasent anything that i couldnt be mad at myself for too. we started it. and WE finished it. so i tried to convince myself that it wasent all Jakes fault. he pulled my closer to hiswarm chest and kissed me lightly on my neck

"its gonna be okay honey." he whispered as he ran his long slender fingers through my hair. the motion was comforting. i ached to just roll over and hold him back and kiss his beautiful lips. but i knew that is what got me in this situation. so i just help perfectly still and let the tears roll down my cheeks as i thought about the betrayal to my only love

EPOV

i was at my house faster than i had ever been there in this vehicle, Alice was at my side immediatly

"dont do it Edward you know what it will do to her"

"The mutt deserves it. he touched her in ways i cannot"

"youve told her that if thats what she needs she could have it why are you taking back your word now?"

"I didnt think she would really do it" i sighed.

Alice looked at me her golden eyes large with worry

"dont hurt him please Edward. you know Bella will never speak to you again"

"then why does she choose me? why doesnt she choose him?" i snarled

i could see it all in her mind playing, i would go back and i would wait for him in the woods. he would come to me he would yell there would be more words and i would hit him. he would phase and before he could even see me coming i would rip his throat out. he would suffocate on his ownblood before my very eyes and i would just walk away.

"Edward..." Alice whispered my name, there were tears in her eyes that would never escape.

"I hate him." i said

"i know you do but Bella loves him."

i let out my breath in a sudden gust of air. i felt defeated. i wouldnt go kill jacob. Alice was right. i would hurt bella and she was my everything. i had to make a different plan...

she wouldnt see him again after this. and that was a fact...


End file.
